Wednesday, June 10, 2020

How NOT to write a tech blog post

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Five simple ideas for you to fail blatantly when you’re writing your tech blog post stuff :)

Recently, we have held a Blogger’s Week Contest in Tesseract Coding. We have had many amazing submissions, and some of them not so amazing as well… I have also had contact with several articles posted here, or on other platforms, and here are some useful ideas on what NOT to do when you write a tech blog post — I should say ANY blog post, for that matter…

1. Write REALLY long paragraphs

Why should you write in a way that is comfortable for the eyes? Since we are talking about tech stuff, everything you write should be difficult to understand. So, if you want your text to be hard to read, you should never write paragraphs with less than 6 lines. If possible, your whole text should be in one paragraph only!

2. Don’t use pictures! Visual aids are too good!

There are several researches that say that our brain retains information better from pictures than from text. So, we should stay away from them. Don’t take screenshots, don’t use infographics, avoid videos and GIFs at all costs! After all, you want to be known by your bad posts — and you certainly don’t want to be seen as a good writer!

3. Fit ALL your knowledge about a topic in a single blog post

So, have you decided to write a single blog post about Data Structures? GOOD! Be sure to add ALL existing Data Structures in one single post! Machine Learning? Please, be sure to be as detailed as you can, and write a HUGE post that contains all possible information about Machine Learning, Artificial Intelligence, Deep Learning, and be sure to include information about Python, Math and Statistics while you’re at it!

4. Difficult words and expressions are MANDATORY

I beseech thee, thou shalt not shy away from toilsome and onerous writ! Au contraire, it must needs be that thine text holds a very Shakesperian approach for the most non sophisticated of the topics! Hence, adhere to that which is insufferable to understand, and ça va sans dire: thine achievement is bonded!

5. Don’t ask for a reviewer’s help. You alone can do it!

Why should I trust someone else to read my stuff? Why should someone who is unfamiliar with my topic read what I’ve written to see if it makes sense? What about Grammarly or some other spell correction tool? No way! There is simply not even a remote chance that I should trust someone other than myself to help me with writing. Remember, I am just writing for myself, and not for anyone else!

These are five simple tips to write horribly, and unfortunately, some of them are often present in many tech blog posts around… So, do you want to write something that is absolutely impossible to read? Be sure to follow my tips!

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About Ricardo Prins
Ricardo Prins is a Software Engineer who thinks that technology is not the answer to all our problems.

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